Forget Not...

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Ps. 103:2-5

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds.” Ps. 77: 10-11

Today I finish the 30th year of my life, and the Lord led me to stop and remember a few of the ways He has proven His faithfulness to me in my life. Here is an excerpt from my prayer journal this morning (I keep it on my computer).

I remember as a child seeing my mom’s godly example of praying for my father to quit drinking, and you, Lord answering that prayer in a miraculous way, turning my father into a godly, generous, humble man. Thank you, Lord for giving me parents who love you.

I remember that I once was far from you, living for myself, and you had mercy upon me, changed my evil heart of stone to a heart of flesh, opened my eyes to the Truth, and put your Living Spirit within me, unworthy as I am. Thank you Jesus!

I remember how in college you changed my desires from pursuing riches, prestige, and “the American dream,” to planting my life in a foreign place where Your Name is rarely known or revered. You made this my dream, and now I’m living it!

I remember meeting the man who would become my husband, not being able to get him out of my mind, but fearing that if I married him I would be stuck in America for most of my life. And then you called him to the nations, and gave him to me! I remember our wedding day with tears. As we said on that day almost 6 years ago, I say again today, “Who am I, Lord, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?” (2 Sam. 7:18) Thank you for my husband, my love, my best friend. I don’t want to spend a single day without him!

I remember the joy of carrying my first daughter in my womb, feeling her move inside me, and being amazed at the miracle of life. I remember my short, precious time with my Priya, and I long for her. I will long for her until I meet with her again in heaven. Thank you for carrying us through the valley of the shadow of death, collecting our tears in a bottle, and tenderly comforting us. Thank you for providing friends and family who walked with us through this. Praise Jesus for the hope of heaven!

I remember worrying and stressing over trying to get pregnant again. At times I gave in to fear and did not rest in your faithfulness, even becoming angry with you at times. Yet in your mercy and grace, you once again put life inside me. Even then I often gave in to worry during the first few months of my pregnancy, not allowing myself to “get my hopes up,” and you gave me such a smooth, easy pregnancy.

I remember waiting and waiting for Joya to be born, and the excitement I felt when I realized I was going into labor at my brother’s house in KC. I remember the moment Joya was born and laid upon my chest, how she looked up at me with such contentment. What a feeling! I was very ready to be a mom, yet had no idea how amazing it could be. Thank you for Joya, for her sweet personality and the joy that she brings to me every day.

I remember the day that my uncle Roger went to be with you, and miss him. You have taught me so much through my aunt Tammy’s example of trusting you in the midst of immense grief. I have never seen someone grieve in such a godly, gracious way. She and her children remind me not to take my husband or my father for granted, when life is so fleeting.

I have much to remember today; I could go on and on. I too easily forget all the ways the Lord has proven his faithfulness in my life. I too easily forget that I was once far from him with no hope beyond this life. I have nothing to boast in but him.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits….”